The Darkest Brew In All The Land
As dark as the inside of your colon
Darker than that still.
Have you ever wanted to drink pure alcoholic black sludge from the darkest pits of hell? Well if you weren’t in Muenster, Indiana on Saturday, there is a good chance you won’t get to this year. Saturday, April 26th was the annual 3 Floyd’s Dark Lord Day. It’s the one day of the year that you can buy this sinister beverage.
So dark you can't even see to drink it....?
As expected, there were thousand upon thousands of over anxious beer snobs sitting in lawn chairs with coolers filled with beer that probably cost more than a week’s worth of food.
We arrived around 11:30 am and realized that it was way too late if you ever wanted to even capture a glimpse of the delicious motor oil. We hiked to the back of the line (which was in a different parking lot) and immediately said “fuck that!” Most people were just standing in unmarked lines perfectly content with not moving.
My party went right into the mess and found that there were 4 or 5 different lines for 4 or 5 different things but no one knew what these lines we really for. Luckily we were able to get into a short line and sample the liquid sin. It was thick, and sweet, and delicious, and BLACK. Very Very Black. It was well worth fighting the crowd.
After that little spot of luck, we were able to “squeeze” into the line to buy actual bottles of the bottled darkness. Once we purchased the maximum allotment of dark lord, we were guided right into another part of the chaos where we found out we could taste and buy popskull. Once we escaped the madness, me and my fellow beer junkie agreed that the popskull was a superior beer. It was light and hoppy yet was a dark refreshing beer.
Moral of the story – Fuck morals and get beer anyway possible.
