Not Metal » posers http://notmetal.net A heavy metal blog...really. Thu, 18 Feb 2010 02:04:27 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 Why you may never want to read Revolver Magazine http://notmetal.net/why-you-will-never-want-to-read-revolver-magazine http://notmetal.net/why-you-will-never-want-to-read-revolver-magazine#comments Sat, 04 Apr 2009 17:08:20 +0000 Viking Beard http://notmetal.net/?p=76 “The Soundtrack To Teenage Pregnancy and Fail.” is so hot right now.

Hollywood Heart Throbs

Hollywood Heart Throbs

I’m still trying to figure out what tree these goons fell from and why they have fans.

]]> http://notmetal.net/why-you-will-never-want-to-read-revolver-magazine/feed 1 “Hollywood Undead.” Not to be confused with “Fuck…I’m Dead” http://notmetal.net/hollywood-undead-not-to-be-confused-with-fuckim-dead http://notmetal.net/hollywood-undead-not-to-be-confused-with-fuckim-dead#comments Fri, 03 Apr 2009 02:51:59 +0000 Viking Beard http://notmetal.net/?p=46 Fuck.
I kind of had a hint that this sort of stink pile “genre” existed. The guys over at Metalsucks gave me my first introduction to what I would refer to as the most “Faux-metal” band on the planet right now. Anyway, what’s kind of sad is those douche-canoes in “Dead By April” actually have .010% more musical talent in their little tribal tattooed arms than these fucks, “Hollywood Undead”. Or, as I will refer to them: “The Soundtrack to Teenage Pregnancy and Fail.”
Goddammit.

The masks keep them safe from ass whoopings by longhairs and tech-9 totin' thugs!


Let’s take a quick look at a sample lyric:
[Chorus] The Server: “I’m About to serve it up for all you party goers. Scene Kids, Meat Heads, Alchi’s, Stoners. Dancin around like a bunch of faggots, funnier than fuck you cab ask Bob Saggot. I never claimed that I knew how to dance but Ill get drunk, get high, and pull down my pants.”

So you can assume right off the bat this “band” sucks a big fat dooter pile. It’s a cluster fuck of Slipknot image, Insane Clown Posse lyricism (which I actually find humorous most times), and Wu-Tang-esque hardcore rap…except it’s five white guys instead…five white guys doing hardcore rap…didn’t Eminem do that already? For fuck’s sake, he was only ONE guy. I don’t even want to go into the stage names of the other four dumpster dicks in the group.

Here’s a video of what this shit sounds like if you care.

Now please go wash your ears out with soap and Amon Amarth.

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