Not Metal

Agoraphobic Nosebleed

Agorapocalypse

Right now, I have my Sony stereo headphones on with the new ANB cranked and spinning it’s whirlwind grind-storm into my poor brain. After giving an initial review the day before its official release I decided this album had to be in my collection. For those of us that are into vinyl, do check out the double gatefold verion of this from Relapse.

The cover artwork is stunning in a larger format. It’s done by the same artist, Florian Bertmer, who did the visuals for the latest 16 record. It is a perfect supplement to the music as it describes the tone of the record; a claustrophobic porno-drug-crazed-grind mind fuck.
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Wow they sound like an actual band now!

So awesome it’ll get two reviews

Before you go any further with reading click this and start streaming it in its entirety!

I gave this a one off listen today while designing the interwebs at my day job. Needless to say it was difficult not to look like a fucking idiot sitting at my desk banging my head at breakneck speed to the thirteen powerfully awesome grind jams that ripped through my phones. Scott Hull is all over the place with the riffs, and they are big, the are MEATY, they are fast, they are sludgey. They are slam-your-face-to-the-pavement-and-stomp-your-fucking-teeth-out heavy-awesome (we are copyrighting “heavy-awesome”). Look out for a proper review in the coming week or so! Go buy this now!
“Dick To Mouth Resuscitation”…fucking stellar!
Agoraphobic Nosebleed – “Agorapocalypse” full album stream!

You can’t say “no” to Dio

Dio-Sabbath (Heaven & Hell) album sample clips yes!

I don’t know about you but I am really excited for this to album to come out.

I mean look at that cover! You can’t go wrong with that, Iommi, the riff master and crew and Dio on vocals. Sabbath, now “Heaven & Hell” is back for a 21st century release! Check it out!
Black Sabbath, new album teaser mp3′s posted!

New metal, not Nu-Metal.

Because it’s faster than wasting time downloading the whole album.

“The heaviest and most brutal deathcore album ever released!” ~
Based on advertisements seen in various metal mags.

A track by track review of the songs (literally as we listen to them) on Oceano’s myspace page, taken from their debut “Depths” on Earache.

1. District of Misery: “dundundun. dundundundundun. dundundun. Obvious hardcore influences going on very early. Some Black Dahlia murder style high vocals come in after 40sec. Some interesting creepy delay effect guitar lines. Some atmosphere in the production. Thinking of a haunted house, omfg killer on the loose. Vocals are not hitting me as hard as the guitars are. Drums are super triggered. Like triggered heavy, cymbals are low in the mix. it’s all bass. Back to the hardcore breakdown riff that it started with to end the track. Was that a song?”
2. A Mandatory Sacrifice: “Sounds a lot like the first track. Whub-bubbububub…Whub-bubbububub. You get the idea. Indistinguishable guttural vocals. I keep thinking Black Dahlia Murder…is that good or bad? Fuck, another hardcore breakdown. Oh, they have “hardcore” in their description. Well, there ya go. Yeh I’m not getting anything out of this track that is setting it apart. Oh there we go, another eery delayed guitar riff over the main riff. That’s kinda cool. This band sounds way better when the vocals stop and the guitars have breathing room. 3:12 in, sounds like we’re back to another breakdown riff. Yep. Unnngh, go back to the eery spacey creepy riff! That shit was cool! Hey, the singer even knows how to do a “BLECH!” Definitely did not need that last 1:15.” sec in the song.
3. Fractured Frames, Scattered Flesh: Faster start. I spaced out after a few seconds. Came to something a little more memorable with what might be a main riff. I can’t fucking tell this shit apart. It sounds like a bunch of metal/hardcore riffs stringed together. AAaaaand another BReEEeeakdown. What it’s over? Oh sweet 2:37. That is like, the perfect length for this band. Any longer, I’m lost and bored.

Bottom line: Nothing new going on here. It’s definitely metal. It’s kind of funny how Earache is REALLY pushing this band as it’s next big thing. I’m not particularly a fan of Earaches’ Oceano splash page and the cheesy voiceover commercial telling me this is the most brutal deathcore record of 2009!! Someone should also do one of these for this band.

Sorry, this just doesn’t sound like what it’s advertised/hyped to be. Go buy an old Suffocation or Carcass record instead.

Nachtmystium

Assassins: Black Meddle, Pt. 1

Getting started is always the hard part, so lets just get the obvious point out of the way. In the world of black metal there are two camps: Tr00 and False. Both have its advantages and drawbacks. Tr00 wins with its unspoiled artistic vision and the fun some have in collecting the extremely limited runs that it is produced in but fails in shitty production and general stagnation that’s been going on for some time. False pretty much flips the tables on Tr00 but also brings with it women in bondage gear at concerts for better or worse. (and dudes in vinyl raver pants, which is never ever good).

This record is neither Tr00 nor False. This record is well beyond that argument or scene even. This record brings something else to the table altogether. Where your typical BM record invokes visions of bleak snow covered castles, eternal torture in hell, or uh, Satan doing his thing. This record makes me think of the gulf coast; the heat, the drugs, the king bastard that is the ocean, or the power of rural poverty. The storm that either destroys one or gives one a second chance on “Ghosts of Grace”, the closing three song suite “Seasick”, and the horn/flamenco guitar section halfway through said suite all bring me back to the darker side of life in the deep sweaty South. When I first heard “Ghosts of Grace” all I could think of was Lieutenant Dan yelling at God in the thunderstorm scene from Forrest Gump; not a brutal scene in the typical sense of the word, but this isn’t a traditionally brutal album either. Sonically, this record isn’t that far off from Instinct/Decay besides three obvious things:

1. The production is better. By this I mean that the drums sound clearer (1.5 – Tony Laureano’s drum work fits perfectly here) and the solo’s are more prominent.
2. The obvious influence of classic/psych rock. The title and clever song title in ‘One of These Nights’ aside, the record brings in instruments that don’t really come into modern metal outside of those genres. The horn part, not meaning to harp on this too much but it really is awesome, made me think of “Baker Street” by Gerry Rafferty almost instantly and I didn’t want to slam the mute button when I heard it either! I was too impressed with this thought and that I was enjoying it to do anything besides sit back and smile like a moron.
3. There is a “spaciness” in the sound and pacing of this album that is missing from almost all BM records. Where others focus on overbearing or claustrophobic aural elements, this record allows the listener to fully take in the surroundings and enjoy them.

The best way to explain this would be to describe this as Instinct/Decay v. 10.0. There hasn’t been a drastic overhaul in any one part, but improvements across the board that make for a better record. It’s the minor nuances of this record that lead for such a traumatic/dramatic change in how it gets processed, and it really is breathtaking.

Bottom Line: Like the NES vs the SNES; this isn’t a black metal record. It’s a Super Black Metal record.

~ Chili Bowl Soul Vortex
Opinions are like assholes,
But mine is special,
It can shoot blood out of it.

This should be built into a chart and posted at the entryway for every live show.
The Crowd At A Metal Show

Harvey Milk

Life…The Best Game In Town

This is a painful album. This album brings up feelings that I haven’t thought about in years; the awkward family reunions of people that don’t even really like each other but get together due to societal norms that dictate that people should love their families. Even if they fucking hate each other. This is that kind of face-your-life kind of therapy that is rarely pretty if easy to get through.

Case in point, the first song on the new Harvey Milk album, Death Goes To The Winner. With its opening light vocals of Christmas Eve it lulls you into thinking that this might be a clam or blasé opening (if you think you know what to expect, remember this is Harvey Milk*) it lurches into the honestly most depressing riff cycle this side of Eyehategod about awkward moments in life that brings back every fucked up family moment and maybe even some middle school dances too. Shit… this is really painful, but so rare that its going to be hard to turn away.

Emotional brutality of this exquisite caliber one just don’t see often, and it’s much appreciated. Any band can try and beat you into submission though blast beats, 300 BPM double bass, or singing about rape/torture/Christian-revenge plots. Few bands can bring about the awkwardness this band can bring forth with as little as they bring to the table. Slow ass songs, distorted guitars that reek of cheap beer and false hope, and a vocal wail that would could put Andrew W.K. down for the count. When was the last time Cryptopsy made you think about the girl that wouldn’t dance with you in 8^th grade in a way that wasn’t completely self-referential in a Korn sort of way? Exactly. Doom in the most literal sense of it. YOU FUCKING FAILED YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT.

Desperation and feelings of pathetic-ness also permeate some of this album. Like a bar band full of 40-year-old fuck ups that still worship Priest and think the new shit sucks, the end of Decades clumps along like a bar band that’s off the rails but still has hopes of redemption in it. Then the song ends and another fuck-up cycle starts.

The best illustration of this brutal, ain’t no-ruby-lenses-here, theme is A Maelstrom of Bad Decisions. What starts out bad, horrible, fast, fucked up, and what could be perceived as poorly thought out just never gets better. Like all those horrible situations.

*On a happy note, they did make the best ZZ Top tribute album ever with ‘The Pleaser’.*

Fuck you guys for reminding me about the bad parts. Thanks too.

~ Chili Bowl Soul Vortex
(Calling you an asshole in front of your dad since 2001.)