Seriously….

How fitting it would be that the last post I’ve been able to get up in the past 2 months has been about High On Fire. Funny thing is, I’ve been burnt out on metal for awhile (like early December ’09, I discovered the wonder of Zombi), and that has everything to do with why the posts have been so scant. Thankfully, by the beginning of this year I have discovered a a wealth of bands I forgot to check out that had great records last year, such as Cobalts’ ,“Gin”, and The Gates Of Slumbers’,“Hymns Of Blood And Thunder”. Both of which, got me back on the metal gravy train.

Well, tonight, I came in my pants listening to just ONE new song off High On Fires’ “Snakes For The Divine”. Actually, I listened to two songs, but yeah the record starts off with what I think may be better than AC/DCs’ intro-tap to “Thunderstruck”. No joke, science!

For the time being, as this is the myspace rip that is streaming as I type this, I will save a full review of this awesomely expansive sounding record for a later date.

Frost Hammer!!!!

Snake porn

Fuck yeah. High On Fire are one of my favorite metal bands of all time. They are like my Motorhead to my Motorhead (?). A track record of consistent and crushingly good slabs of metal with each studio album. This is definitely one record I have been looking forward to since hearing of their entry in the studio late last year. I must say the song starts of pretty standard for a HOF track and then when they reach the bridge there is a slight tempo and mood change that really shows there is added effort in the songwriting and not a carbon copy of the last “good song” off their previous record.

And that cover art, also top notch stuff. Check out the new track streaming now over at Stereogum.

Captain Badass

I had the esteemed privilege of catching this show on a last minute, “Oh shit, I totally forgot this show was this weekend!” moment. The Empty Bottle is one of the best places to host a show with a group such as Shrinebuilder, one of the most epicly epic heavy metal supergroup lineups every formed. It’s like Thor, Zeus, Odin, and Batman (all badasses and metal as fuck) formed a group and played a show in your neighborhood dive. Good times. Tight tunes. And the quote of the evening goes to Dale Crover at the end of the near 1.5 set with, “That’s all the songs we know. Go back out and pay to come back in.”

It was a 2 set night…

Here’s some live footage I caught on my shitty phone that likes to pretend it’s an iPhone.

After watching this video I got a major craving to play old school Mario over and over with this playing in the background. This is just simply the best in Nintendocore. Ever.

Check out some of the footage from the D.C. show below. Looks like it was one helluva kick ass time.

Make sure to check the rest of the footage of that show over at Metal Injection!

The soundtrack to a miserable week

If you’ve ever woken up in the morning and taken a good look at yourself in the mirror and pondered, “Just what the fuck am I doing with my life?”, then maybe Harvey Milk can help you out. If you missed the boat on the excellently crafted soundtrack to Midwestern trailer park trash fail, “Life…The Best Game In Town”, then you should get your ass to your nearest brick and mortar record store establishment that sells metal and pick up a copy.

Other wise, get on the fun train and listen to one of the best songs in the history of sludge and all things horrible and doomy: “I Do Not Know How To Live My Life”.

Authors note: The first time I heard this song was at Dudefest ’09. I bought the vinyl at the concert and this was the first song I played off the record. Little did I know that the LP is a 45…and I was listening to this song at 1/2 speed. It is Sooooooo fucked up and heavy at that speed. I still to this day, play it at 1/2 speed every now and then. Especially while really drunk….

Now with more mullet and suck

A big thanks to metalsucks for posting up this garbage and then inspiring me to rant a bit about it. Shit like this really makes for good content on our site seeing as our domain name is the definition of anything as cookie cutter as this band is.

“I’m not real I was never born”
If you can make it to the chorus of the song you’ll get that tasty and inspirational lyric.
Waah mom, I’m so dead to the world. No one cares I’m alive. Blah blah blah.

Do me a favor, if you happen to come across anyone that ever says that Oceana is their favorite band, or that “Oceana rocks!” give them a good viking kick to their dome silo and cut their mullet off as a trophy. Take a high res photo of said mullet trophy and send it to: webmaster@notmetal.net.

And yes, how unfortunate they have a different vowel than the much hyped but much suck deathbreakdown band Oceano. Fuck…

Now clean your ears and eyes out with this.

That’s Athens, Ohio for those of you who didn’t know

I fucking love SKELETONWITCH (all caps because they rule). Their brand of thrash-death-black-metal is exactly what every neo thrash band that is saturating metal labels everywhere wishes they could sound like. I highly recommend both “Beyond The Permafrost” and their new recently released full length, “Breathing The Fire”.

Here’s the new video for the single Repulsive Salvation. Pretty standard metal video. Great song though. Thrash!

I have nothing else witty to say

Maybe Coalesce is the new Tool. They’ll release one slab of awesome every 8 or 10 years and then fade into obscurity only to return again after another 10 years of nothing. The only difference being Coalesces’ OX and this new EP are much more interesting to listen to than Tools’ last record. Which I can’t even remember when came out and don’t care to wiki it so suck it.

Alas, I digress. Lambgoat is streaming the new OX EP, due out November 10th, in it’s entirety. Check it out!

I shot motherfuckah’s Joe. You ever shot motherfuckahs?