Not Metal

The Finntroll Club

I remember going to this show and arriving just as they started playing this song. If you’re not a fan of Strapping Young Lad I hope you can somehow become a fan of Devin Townsend the man. He is glorious. Unfortunately, the skullet is no more. Sadness.

Dopesmoker Live

Proceeds the Weediaannnnnhhg, Nazareth!

I can only hope that there will be a similar tour in America and/or a new record.

Don’t drop that bong! More video footage posted here.

Oceano vs. Lambgoat

“About as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop” – Patches O’Houlihan

Do you have any memories of being bullied in grade school? Did you ever have the guts to stand up to that person? I can say personally that I had to deal with it once or twice in junior high and it felt really good to act tough in return, to find that spark and defend myself and come out on top.

Why then do some people feel it is necessary to do the same over the internet?

Let’s face it, anyone who has ever felt the need to respond to harsh criticism (in person no less) from pointless discussions on message boards is not accomplishing anything. This is a first for me in actually seeing a posted video response to the aforementioned “bullying”.

“You guys suck!”

“Oceano are a bunch of faggots!”

Boo fucking hoo. Can’t metal heads just agree to disagree and move on? Why do people feel the need to tear down others successes?

Anyone with half a brain should understand that the type of person who has nothing better to do but to make themselves sound big and bad on metal discussion boards is a complete waste of space and is serving no purpose, nor adding quality to the site itself. These people are morons, and in my opinion should always be ignored. The comments made against Oceano are baseless, useless, and aren’t worth the effort to set up a camera to record ad-libbed responses.

So why then did the band feel the need to respond with a video? Christ, it’s so awkward to watch! I just don’t get it.

Do something constructive for God’s sake. Go practice, read a book, or call your mom and tell her you love her.

Black Metal Show and Tell

Totally watchable quality

Get a taste of the awesomeness.

Earlier I had posted up my review of Mastodons’ live set here in Chicago at the Metro. The words to describe the chills on the back of my neck took a back seat to the words used to describe the group of idiots in the pit. With my whiny bitching aside, Metalsucks and Culture Bully have each posted up their own take on the live set. The latter includes several glorious videos of the show at Fine Line Music Cafe in Minneapolis. Fan or not, I implore you to take the 6:15 out of your day to watch this video.

Mastodon “Oblivion” (Fine Line Music Cafe, Minneapolis, 04/29/2009) from Culture Bully on Vimeo.

If you’re kicking yourself for not going to their show you’ll at least understand why now with better reason you should have gone instead of sitting at home looking at porn and going to bed early.

Why didn’t we post this earlier?

Dude, you look gay-tarded.

I’m sure most of you have seen and watched it before, but it deserves a permanent place on this blog. I wish I had the cred and power to make Brian Posehn a full time writer for us.

Guardiaaaaaaans!

Guardians Of Asgaaaaaaaaard!

I’ve had a few people tell me Amon Amarth is cheesy. Those people are assholes. Amon Amarth have stuck to their guns throughout many many awesome records. If it weren’t for Bathory, you might say they wrote the book on Viking Metal…

Anyways, here’s the new Viking Battle video off of their latest album, Twilight of the Thunder God (what else would they make a video about!?).

Dude…teach me.

Sometimes I wonder where my own hand fart talent could have taken me. This guy has a whole slew of cover videos, and they’re all awesome.

Don’t let anyone find out you have a secret collection of Dream Theater vinyl.